What You Want, Isn’t Always What YOU Want

Sometimes when you reach a goal you thought you always wanted to achieve, you discover it’s not what you wanted after all.

I find there is a constant struggle between what we want and what we’re suppose to want.

Many people get degrees they never really wanted, or take over the family business because they feel they had no other choice, or get a job at a company they didn’t really want to work at, all because at the time they thought it was what they wanted, when it turns out it’s what they thought they were suppose to want.

It has become increasingly harder to think for yourself and even if you believe you are setting your own goals and expectations, it can be hard to decipher if it’s your own idea of fulfillment or someone else’s. As an effect, when you achieve what you supposedly wanted, sometimes you may feel disconnected with the reward or result, as if you never really wanted it at all.

It’s hard to take risks when society, your peers and mentors try to guide you to pursue a ‘sure thing.’ It causes us to stray from what we really want and just go with the safe or respected choice to avoid resistance and the supposed consequences. This makes it hard for people to actually follow their dreams and easy to pursue goals that are not necessarily their own.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do what’s expected of you (even if you don’t know it yet) because that keeps you productive and hopefully an asset to your industry. I’m just saying that you should also integrate some of your other goals into the mix.

  • Get a master’s degree, but also build a house
  • Work at a high paying, low fulfillment job, but build a website and become a blogger
  • Take over the family business, but put together a band and start booking gigs

Do whatever it takes to achieve your own goals and also do what’s expected of you. Take control over what you want so you’ll feel fulfilled no matter what you’re doing.

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