Where Did All My Friends Go?

When college ends, many friendships can too.

Not because of disagreements or differences, but simply because we usually moved on and away from our college friends when we graduate. But I didn’t realize this right away.

After graduation, I was busy trying to find a full-time job and worrying about my future, but when I finally got a job and started a routine, I looked around me and realized that I didn’t have as many friends anymore. Some had moved home, some went on to graduate school and some started a new job somewhere else.

So I was left with a new life and almost none of my college friends to share it with. I felt disoriented to say the least and I wasn’t alone. I noticed this phenomenon was also effecting other young professionals who had just graduated. Consequently, they started swopping out their college friends for other professionals like themselves, not because they didn’t like them anymore, but because they were sharing a new stage in their life with people who could relate to them.

It seems that we pick up and drop off friends at every major milestone in our lives. Whether it’s graduating or retiring, friends change with each new stage. Long distance friendships can emerge, but for the most part, you have to get back out there and find new people who can relate to your current situation.

It can be scary and you may want to resist it, but don’t. Embrace new relationships, hold on to some old ones, but don’t let them make you avoid other potential friendships.

There are friends for every stage of life. My college friends were the best people I could have asked for to share that experience with, but now I’m in a new stage and while those relationships are still important, I must also focus on finding new ones to help shape this important new stage.

Did you lose many friends after graduating?

4 thoughts on “Where Did All My Friends Go?

  1. Very perceptive as always. Yes, I lost many friends after graduating from college no matter how hard I tried to keep contact with everyone. It became almost impossible, especially with everyone moving all over the country after graduation. I was able to stay in close contact with 2 of my best friends that are still my best friends to this day, 40 years later. A few others managed to stay on my Christmas card list but I haven’t seened them in decades.

    New friendships are always good and exciting but sometimes difficult to initiate and nurture once out of the college atmosphere.

    1. Thanks for your personal insights on this. It’s always interesting to hear how other people are dealing with lost friendships or working to keep them going.

  2. Hi Lindsay, You are correct, the career and work world take first priority after graduation.
    It is hard to keep in contact with college buddies, but we try the best as we can.
    If kids come along, a whole new world of potential friends come into you life that share the life goals of raising good children with a positive attitude to move the world forward for the
    good of all. Emails have been a big help for me in staying in contact with college pals Phil

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